sister gone and parents away....Ive been left alone before, but the sudden realisation that this is what adulthood had in store...i crumbled, sobbing by the computer at my empty home...not to mention terrified,yup definitely considering living in a shack(ONE ROOM THAT'S IT) that way i can see/hear/smell/touch everything, so instead of throwing a mad house party like any 18 would...i confined myself to locking myself up in my room with dogs,water, chocolate sauce and a collection of weapons ranging from knives,bug spray,dozens and dozens of pairs of scissors scattered under pillows,bed side table,shelf,in cupboard, and even stooping down to a squash racket and whistle...i had the bed,i had the computer,supplies were very good indeed!temperature could vary if i turned the fan on or pulled up the blankets...i was fine....remaining in MY room for a week,only leaving during the day when staff were about! stop thinking I'm a wussie....STOP...its perfectly normal for any child to over react...i had to fend for myself...against the perils of my own abode...there are freaky things out there you know, jeez my guard killed a snake just outside my front door,now imagine me wondering about, a definite or the slight possible target to a black as pitch ruthless reptile(i wont be taking any chances)...and the insects, as if the Pharaoh of my dwelling had disobeyed god and appearing by the hundreds a plague of crickets and beetles swarm about; chirping nonchalantly in hidden location(such as inside the shower drain,which surprisingly holds an echo threshold...aaaah the sound shall never be associated with tranquility AGAIN)....then the creaks and squeaks, bumps and grinds of the roof and walls....certainly playing tricks on me as i cower behind corners with a knife in a vice like grip...jumping out and wondering if the fiend is in fact behind me all along,like an evil clown goofing about before he strikes....it wasn't pleasant...no not at all!

but mommy and daddy came back...yay for me for they spoiled me because of my dreadful time....yes...i know...how manipulative...but grateful nonetheless for the thought they put into it,i got a lovely shirt, 2 pairs of trousers a very large pen with BEN10 on it(oh the primary kids at school will be so jealous) and this book called strange Emily or something....its a lovely dark kids book....i appreciate the thought my parents put into it very much!

otherwise got my ears pierced on the art trip i went on to Kenya...first time out of the country on my own...again another step into adulthood...its all dawning on me very quickly...being 18 now makes me wonder where my inner kid has gone...all my friends are younger(even if by 2 days-talking about you Inez)and the other day one of them(13)told me i sound like their mother now...what the hell...i haven't changed....grrr and if deema reads this....my hips do click and crack...but for goodness sack....yours do too....hahahahahahaha

right I'm off...reading a novel to help me study for English on tuesday!!!nervous...uh...yes...
but good options for uni in 2012....but that's for another time
xxx